Title: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Year released: 2012
Running Time: 105 mins
Classification: R
Genre: Action, Fantasy, Horror
Even the thought of Abraham Lincoln being a vampire hunting is preposterous and they decide on making it a non-comedy. Did it deliver? NO.
For anyone who doesn’t know this already, Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States and is famously known for ending slavery. He was assassinated in 1865.
Oh and he hunted vampires.
For a movie like this, I expected action and/or horror and/or comedy. From the trailer, it didn’t seem like a horror or comedy. Even so the trailer looked good. It made the title Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter look appealing...... ok so maybe just appealing to me. I was disappointed.
Personally I am not a big fan of vampire movies, but I’ve seen enough to know how standard vampire movies are. I know vampires are not real therefore vampire hunters are not real, but in the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter world they are. The vampires still have super strength etc etc and humans are still boring with no special power. So, how can a measly human boy fight vampires without any chemical/biological/technological help?
We start with a young Abraham getting thrown into walls by a ‘bullet in one eye socket’ vampire to a older Abraham throwing vampires out of trains with no assistance. No ‘super strength biological serum’ injection was used and no advanced technology was used. This does not sound plausible.
I get that most people watch it for the action and don’t mind if there’s no reason to Abraham’s super strength but I’m just one of those people who believe if you’re going to make a movie, don’t make it sloppy.
These vampires are not very convincing either. Be romantic or be scary. The vampires in this movie just confuse me. I wasn’t sure if they healed or were just immortal with a human shell. They weren’t particularly scary and obviously not romantic. (Which is fine since vampires are a type of walking dead. Why would anyone fall in love with a corpse? I don’t care how good looking they are.) It felt like the writer wasn’t sure which vampire rules they should stick by. Vampires with powers or vampires who heal and are scared of sun?
There’s a poor effort to integrate the vampire war with the Civil War (I may me be mistaken about the Civil War). I understand the attractiveness of it. To have a non related vampire story integrated into real history would be fun but this was poorly achieved. This is due to the weak background of the story and the awful editing. One day Abraham is young, the next he has a massive beard, a cane and his famous top hat. The texture of the movie design was probably the only thing that was consistent throughout the film.
Before I forget, Abraham’s wife is played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead... not much else to tell since this movie does not play on romance either.
The only thing I was impressed by was how much they made Benjamin Walker look like Abraham Lincoln near the end of the film.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has nothing to offer. Maybe if it wasn’t for the bad editing and unfilled gaps, the movie might have had some potential. Overall, it is not worth anyones time unless of course you want to waste time.
If your looking for a vampire movie, please seek else where as these vampires are busy trying to set their own fictional rules.
Terri's Rating: 1/5
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